Prayers, Faith and Hope
by RedneckGeek
Summary: Not long after the ending of Poker Face Failure, life had finally settled down for Kensi and Deeks after Afghanistan and the Hunt for the White Ghost. Things were back to normal at the Office of Special Projects and they were getting ready for the birth of their first child. Until fate decided to throw another twist into the ring of life.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N In response to all the PMs for the story behind Hope's Birth, you asked for it, you got it. Note there will be spoilers for **_**Poker Face Failure.**_** I can't write this without them. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

Light crept through the blinds as the sun came up, bringing an end to a night of fitful sleep. Kens hadn't been feeling well all week, and was really having a hard time trying to get comfortable while sleeping. She had even got up twice this week to try sleeping in the recliner, the first time since the night after we had gotten back from Afghanistan that we hadn't slept together, whether it was the bed or on the couch. Even though Kens said she didn't want to keep me awake, with her not in bed with me or on the couch was guaranteed to make sure I didn't sleep well. I just couldn't sleep without a starfish in my arms. Oh sure I could doze or snooze, but it wasn't even as restful as Kens tossing and turning next to me.

"Morning Sunshine" I leaned over and kissed her forehead. Kens just grumbled and tried to bury her head into my chest a little further. I always heard that pregnant women slept differently than what they normally do, but with Kensi that didn't seem to be the case. She still was a big time cuddler. I laid my hand over her stomach where our child lay growing. "Morning to you as well Baby Deeks, I would give you a kiss as well, but Mommy looks really comfortable at the moment, finally, and I don't want to move for fear of disturbing her. She might just punch me." That got me a small smile; I could feel her lips against my chest. I just laid there feeling content.

The last year had been rough. Sam and I had shared a bond that no one should ever go through, right after I was forced to seduce a suspect right in front of Kensi. After we were able to stop Sidirov, I went into a spiral of despair and darkness that had me questioning everything about myself. I locked myself away, not wanting anyone to see what I had become. That is until an angel showed up with Yummy Yummy Heartattack at my doorstep and led me back into the light. We started getting closer, and I finally said what I mean when Kensi basically slapped me upside the head after I tried to take her on a date without asking her. We eloped, having been a lawyer does have some perks besides money, and spent the night in each other's arms. The next day was awkward. We both let our emotions get the best of us, I got punched in the jaw, and Kensi got sent off to Afghanistan.

The next four months were pure hell plain and simple. Kens was sent into a war zone under the mission to assassinate the White Ghost, a US citizen who had gone over to the Taliban, and also to hunt for a mole. She had no one to watch her back, no one else knew about the mole hunt, not even Granger her immediate superior and she didn't even have all the information Kens needed. Turns out the White Ghost was actually Jack Simon, Kensi's ex-fiancé, and that the Wicked Witch of NCIS had sent Kens over there to protect him. Hetty knew Kensi wouldn't ever be able to take the shot, and thus Kens was unwittingly aiding and abetting a known terrorist.

Meanwhile I spent the entire time wracked with guilt, believing that Kensi was being punished for my actions. I offered to go return to the LAPD if it only brought her home safe. That idea was denied. So I figured it had to be a test, and I was going to pass it with shining colors. I stepped up, did my job without complaint, and even tried learning new languages, except I couldn't find one that somebody on our team wasn't already fluent in. But it didn't help the guilt. Then Kens discovered the true identity of the White Ghost, and went off the reservation without telling anyone. Granger thought she was captured; Hetty was going to send Callen and Sam in after her to retrieve her. I had enough, I blew up at Hetty, signed the papers she had given me so long ago and became a NCIS agent. I resigned from the LAPD and found myself on a flight to Afghanistan to bring my girl back home.

Once over there things went to downhill fast. When Kens snuck out of camp, she left her ring behind, and I was the one who found it. Seeing as it was her ex-fiancé she was going to see, I immediately thought the worst and snapped. I beat Sabatino and threaten to put a bullet in each of his major joints until he talked. Sam stopped me, and was able to convince Sabatino to give us the information that we needed to find Kens. Only to have her shot in front of my very eyes just as we found her after she had captured the White Ghost, of course I was shot not that much longer after her. It's just the way our luck seemed to roll. When we woke up in the field hospital at Camp Chapman, all the progress we had made at saying what we meant went the way of the dodo bird, and we were both too stubborn to admit it.

We got home, and I came close to a mental breakdown. I resigned from NCIS and blew up at Hetty, again. But by doing do so, I forced Kensi into actually talking to me, and we figured out what we wanted. Then she told me she was pregnant with my child, and I was terrified over what I had let myself become. What I did over in Afghanistan was become my father and I wasn't about to allow myself near Kens or our child for fear of hurting them. Then we got dragged into the investigation of Hetty's handling of both the missing Soviet sleeper nukes and especially the White Ghost Op. Numerous flights back and forth to DC for hearings and interviews with everyone from Director Vance, SecNav, the Director of the CIA, and even a few select senators wore us down. Callen started harboring some resentment towards us and even Sam for what we said about Hetty. When Hetty was finally forced to resign, placed under arrest for violating a whole bunch of federal laws I never knew existed, and Director Vance created a new position for me solely based on my performance as an undercover operative, things had finally started to look up. Kens and I moved into together and started preparing for the birth of our child. The nightmares for both of us were nowhere as frequent when we first came home, it had been over two weeks since I had one, and even longer for Kensi. Luckily we never had them together the same night. Without the other there to comfort us, I don't know how we would have overcome the fear.

Monty started whining at the door, and Kens started grumbling even more. "I'm not sure what sucks more right now, that I feel so crappy or that I can't have coffee. And now my favorite body pillow has to go take my dog out."

I brushed my lips over hers with a smirk "You dog huh? Could have sworn he was mine first. You just steal everything don't you my dog, my bed, my heart."

"Just pick me up some donuts while you're out." Luckily even when morning sickness had hit and hit hard, Kens will still able to have her donuts. I wouldn't have survived a pregnant Kensi that had to forsake both coffee and donuts. "I am just going to stay in bed for a little while longer." That was no surprise, Kens was definitely not a morning person. This week just made it even more so.

"I'll be back soon with donuts. I love you". Styling my hair by pillow is an awesome thing to do when I'm pushed for time in the morning. Such as returning with donuts as soon as possible so that my pregnant partner will start feeling better.

"I love you too." My heart still does a sideways flip every time I hear those three words from her, even if it was mumbled into the pillow. I grabbed Monty's leash and we were out the door. "Let's move it Monty. Kens needs her donuts this morning and we're not making her wait a minute longer than necessary." Usually I surf first thing in the morning after taking Monty for his walk, but this morning was different. I made sure Monty did his business, while we headed to a donut shop I hadn't been to in a while. I still wasn't sure which was worse; getting shot or having Sam give me a security lecture. I grabbed a full dozen, each and every one being one of Kens' favorites, knowing full well I wouldn't get to eat one. Hell I probably buy every single donut in California if I knew it would make her feel better.

Poor Monty was getting tired by the time we got back to the apartment. Considering the pace I was setting, I'm surprised he didn't just collapse in his bed as soon as I took the leash off. I could hear the shower running as I set the donuts on the table, and made my way into our bedroom. Kens came out just as I was setting out my clothes for today. "Damn, woman how is it possible you get more beautiful every day?" That got me a blush. "Feeling better?" I was hoping she was I really was.

"Not really, and I sure don't feel like it right now, but thank you." She moved over to the bed and sat down like her entire body was hurting. Not even after Kens got hit by the car did she look that sore. "I don't think I am going to go in today." This made my ears really perk up, even though she was stuck up in OPs with Eric and bored out of her mind, Kens always wanted to go to work. If she couldn't have my back in the field, she was going to at least make sure I got the info I needed when I was out there saving the world. Kens hadn't been in the field since she returned from Afghanistan. It was during the check up at Camp Chapman after Kens and I had both been shot by the sniper that she discovered she was pregnant. With all the things that were happening at that time Kens hadn't noticed the signs of pregnancy, or she simply put it off as stress induced. Once we were back in the states the investigation into the Garden Gnome from Hell actions, kept us from handling any cases at the time. Once everything was wrapped up, we had informed everyone that we were expecting, and Kensi had been assigned to Ops with me getting partnered with Nell sometimes, Nate occasionally and more often than not just being a third wheel to Sam and Callen's work marriage.

"Want me to stay home today? I'll call Granger right now." I knew what she was going to say, but I had to make the offer.

"No, I'm good Deeks." I just gave her the look that said I wasn't buying what she was selling "Really, I'm good. I didn't say I am fine, you wouldn't believe that either. He's still pissed at you over your refusal to go long term undercover for the Novaske case. We don't need to give him any more reason to keep us separated when I finally get to go back into the field. Besides I do have a checkup this afternoon, and I'll talk to Dr. Herr about how I am feeling. We'll see if there is anything that can be done or if this just a phase."

"Ok but you will call me if you need anything right?" Even I could tell I wasn't hiding the worry in my voice very well. Something about how Kens was doing just didn't feel right. She gave me a small smile as she nodded, trying to ease my concern. "And don't be surprised if I call you during the day as well. Especially if we don't have a case today, and Granger has us doing paperwork or even worse online training seminars." I gave a full body shudder at the memory of an office drone with the personality of drying paint talking about the proper etiquette for federal agents on protection detail in a formal setting. Kens gave a quick snort of laughter so I had accomplished what I set out to do. I quickly gave her a kiss on the mouth. "Love you. Behave for Monty today."

I received a punch in the arm, but there wasn't a lot of power behind the blow, and a kiss back. "Love you too. Be safe out there today."

"Always I am, got too much to live for now." With a smile that I knew did really good things to Kensi, I walked out the door to my truck and headed into work at NCIS.

*******NCIS LA*******

The drive in didn't do anything to relieve my troubled mind. Being stuck in traffic, gives me a lot of time to think and without Kens in the car I had nothing to ease my mood. Luckily for me the Mission where the NCIS Office of Special Projects is located isn't that far from where Kens and I l live. Pulling into the underground garage, I saw when I parked that I was actually here before Sam and Callen. Of course this was nothing new after the Russian dentistry experience. However any chances of beating Nell and Granger here were slim to none. I wasn't going to say either way when it came to Eric, he could very well have ridden with Nell. Dumping my stuff at my desk I went to the range to shoot a couple of magazines to try work off some of my anxiety. Granger was at his desk, and I nodded as I went by, and I was right about Eric being here already. Both he and Nell were already hard at work going over what new data and information had come in during the night. But while shooting and a couple of rounds with the punching bag did help, I still had some lingering concern at the back of my mind.

I was back at my desk going through some old case files when I heard Sam and Callen coming down the hallway talking about Joelle, again. Rumors had been flying about Janvier popping up in various places around the world, and after what he said about destroying everything Callen cared about, Callen had it bad to catch him. I'm sure the fact how serious Callen and Joelle were getting had nothing to do it. I was all for it as Callen did consider my wife to be his little sister. Of course I wouldn't mind paying Janvier back for some of things I had suffered because of the French weasel. I clamped down on those thoughts really quickly and shoved them back into the hole in my mind.

"No Kensi this morning Deeks?" Sam placed his bag on his desk without disturbing a single one of his origami and sat down in his chair. Kens usually spent time down here in the bullpen until we got a case.

"Nope she is really not feeling good this morning. Make that all week long, actually." So much for losing my worry in old case files. Sam must have picked up on the tone of my voice, because he shot a look at Callen.

"Is it morning sickness Deeks? Isn't Kensi in, what her third trimester? I'm no expert but I thought that was supposed to go away in the first half of pregnancy?" Callen looked at Sam.

"Don't look at me. Michelle never had morning sickness." It didn't take a lot to make the big retired Navy SEAL to look uncomfortable, and apparently talking about his wife's pregnancy was one of them.

"Of course she didn't." The smirk on Callen's face showed he was enjoying this. "But you are the only one here with previous experience in this department for Deeks to lean on."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam does fake irritation pretty good, but I could tell when it wasn't fake having been on the receiving end of it way too often.

"Nothing outside of Michelle is one tough lady, and that you two do have a daughter. Sam she put a heckler at your kid's little league game in a sleeper hold. Which means that you have been through this before, Deeks is just now learning about it, and I certainly have no experience with a pregnant wife" Callen must have realized that he was pushing a little too hard, because he held his hands up to placate a man who could do a lot of damage with his bare hands.

"Guys, just chill, it's probably nothing but lack of sleep. Kens has really been having trouble getting comfortable at night, and the lack of caffeine isn't helping her any." Problem with that statement was that I truly didn't think that was the entire issue. I was hoping to get back into working and not worry about my Princess until lunch when I would call her or sooner. Three times I had scrolled through my phone to call her, but I knew I would just end up irritating her.

"So have you two decided on names yet?" It was obvious that Sam wanted to change the topic at hand.

"Well if it's a boy Kensi wants Donald for the first name, and was thinking Raymond for the middle." I threw Sam a quick grin in appreciation. "I get to choose the girl's name, right now I am thinking something along the lines of Bonnie Marie."

"I still don't understand why you two don't learn what you are having." Callen just shook his head in disbelief.

"It's all about the anticipation. Used to be there was no way of knowing what a child was until it was born. We certainly haven't done things the normal way, hell, we got married and pregnant without getting engaged or even dating." Maybe Kensi was starting to rub off on me that sounded almost Wikipedia like. "Just trying to be somewhat normal, I guess."

Sam just snorted. "Don't kid yourself there Shaggy. You two were dating from the moment you became partners." Just then Eric appeared at the landing, holding what looked like one of those old trumpets used when announcing royalty. How he managed to pull that one off with Granger here, I would never know. I jumped up and was heading towards the stairs before even one note had been blasted out, much to Eric's disappointment. However when everyone else saw what he was holding, I think they all were actually thankful for me responding as quickly as I did. Despite the humorous attempt to notify us of the case, the look on Eric's face said that this case wasn't going to be an easy one. On the plus side, maybe I wouldn't be tempted to call Kensi every three seconds and end up locked out of my own home because I had irritated and annoyed her all day long.

*******NCIS LA*******

A major part of the reason that Director Vance had created the position of Contracted Private Consultant to the NCIS Office of Special Projects was my skill at undercover work. Both Granger and Callen admitted, however grudgingly, that I might just be the best they have ever seen. Granger thought I was definitely better than Callen and might actually be better than Janvier as long as the cover used the English language, specifically when it came to adapting on the fly. Callen thought I was equal to him. Of course I am not always wild about the roles I have to assume for the job.

Sitting on the street wearing clothes that had not been washed since before I was lucky enough to meet Kens, was not one of my preferred choices. At least I wasn't a janitor, or even worse Max Gentry, I really don't like what Max does to me, what had happened over in Afghanistan was still too fresh in my mind. But this was what the job required at this moment, because Sven the Fabulous wasn't going to fly in this part of town. I just wanted the suspect to hurry up and show, so I could get a shower.

"Got fleas again Shaggy? You have Kensi at home and you're spending time with Monty instead?" I knew as soon as I started scratching Sam was going to bring up the fleas again.

"You know just for once, I wouldn't mind being the one to sit in the car while somebody else communes with nature and bakes under the hot sun." One particular itch between my shoulder blades was really annoying me. "Where the hell is Jacobs? Wasn't the meet supposed to be like fifteen minutes ago?"

"Probably got held up in traffic, and you're the one who goes method there Deeks." There are times I just wanted to slap that perpetual smirk off of Callen's face. This was one of them. "Heads up Deeks, looks like Jacobs is coming down your side of the street."

I shifted easily, nobody notices a homeless guy, and concrete is freaking uncomfortable so if people do notice you they figure you're just moving to hopefully find something softer. As Callen said Lt. jg. Henry Jacobs USN was walking towards me. "You guys see the supposed buyers for this meeting?" Jacobs was trying to sell some DOD tech he had absconded with from Coronado. It wasn't going to be used by the Navy, and actually was obsolete compared to some of its competitors, but it was still much better than anything the Pakistanis had. I was really getting tired of messing around with the ISI.

"Yep." Sam's growl was so low my earpiece throbbed. "Black Chevy Impala. Looks like they are carrying heavy. One of them actually looks familiar."

"What?" Had we really dealt with that many ISI agents that Sam was starting to recognize them?

"Ok Deeks you grab Jacobs and we'll deal with the guys from the Impala." Callen was checking his M4 carbine from the sounds in the background. Lucky me, all I had was my pistol and backup with no vest, while Batman and Robin were going to have a heavily armed shoot out with Pakistani spies. "On three. One….. Two….. Three!"

Sam and Callen came out of the Expedition with the cries of "Federal Agents! Don't Move!" and carbines pointed at the gentlemen in the black Impala. I came off the sidewalk, drawing my Smith & Wesson and moving towards Jacobs. Behind me I could hear words being shouted back and forth, but I needed to concentrate on Jacobs.

"Freeze! NCIS!" Honestly I was surprised that I didn't shout LAPD, old habits are hard to break. As soon as Jacobs saw me though, he spun around and took off at full speed the other direction. "Oh come on! Dude seriously?" Being taller and having longer legs, my strides were making up for the lost ground, while I cursed Callen's timing. Had he just waited another minute at the most, I would have been able to grab Jacobs as he passed by me. Gaining ground, I saw my opportunity and took it, wincing in anticipation. Tackling someone on concrete is never fun, and will leave some bumps and bruises. But it was going to hurt Jacobs a lot more than me; he didn't have the padding that my well-worn and smelly extra layers provided me. "What part of freeze didn't you understand? Did you have any consideration for me? Do you know how long I have wanted to take a shower?" I slipped the plastic ties over his wrists, probably cinching them a little tighter than was necessary judging by the cringe. "Oh big brothers we good back there?"

"Yeah we're good. Feel like liaising again? We could stick these guys in county." Callen's breathing was a bit ragged.

"Agent Callen, LAPD is already in enroute. ETA three minutes." Normally I don't appreciate Granger's growl in my earbud, but today I actually welcomed it. "Take Jacobs back to the boathouse. And let Deeks get a shower. I don't want to imagine the cost of detailing the backseat of the Expedition." A chorus of laughter from both Sam and Callen as well as those back in Ops followed. So much for actually welcoming Granger's voice.

"I want a lawyer." Jacobs grumbled as he walked sullenly in front of me back to the Expedition.

"Well, lucky for you I am a lawyer."

*******NCIS LA*******

A twenty minute shower later and I was actually feeling clean. Nell had shown up with a change of clothes for me, and we were both now sitting at the table watching the live feed of the interrogation. Sam and Callen weren't having very good luck with convincing Jacobs to give them anything, the tech, his contact in the ISI or even confirm his birthday.

Eric popped up on the big screen. "Hey guys, found some stuff that just might help G and Sam crack this guy."

Standing up I headed towards the interrogation room. "Hold on a second Eric, I'll go get them." Knocking on the door, I waited until Sam opened the door "We need you outside for a second." At Sam's nod, I was heading back to the main room, and was sitting back down by the time Sam and Callen joined us.

"What did you find Eric?" It was hard to tell if Callen was frustrated, of course the only time he showed emotion was when it involved his family or past.

"Lt. Jacobs and his wife are expecting. She is just under five months, and apparently both come from poor families. They just opened a saving account that just screams college fund." I had my doubts that someone could actually tell that, but if anybody was going to be able to tell what a bank account was going to do from electronic records, it would be Eric.

It was like a light bulb went off inside my head. "Hey Callen, why don't I try and see if I can get Jacobs to open up? I mean we do have a connection, we're both expecting fathers."

Sam looked thoughtful. "Might just work G."

Callen nodded. "Just be careful to not let too much out, there Deeks. That is my little sister you will be talking about."

"Gee thanks for the vote of confidence there oh fearless leader. I have done interrogations before you know." I swear sometimes Callen seems to forget how I can be when it comes to Kens' safety.

Entering the room, I saw Jacobs was still sitting and I thanked God that this time the person I was questioning was a dude. It never seems to end well with Kensi and me when I am alone in this room with a woman. It also seemed a little weird to be sitting on this side of the table. It was moments like this that I seemed to miss Kens the most. I couldn't play off the others anywhere close to what I could do with Kensi. Heck, I am never even was in this room with any of the others.

"Are you my lawyer?" A mixture of hope and resignation was etched in his face.

"Oh no. See you will be charged under the Uniform Code of Military Justice and I am not a JAG lawyer. I was just a lowly public defender, then I became a cop, and now I am a federal agent." I could just hear Callen rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth at my unorthodox methods. Probably wasn't the best way to form a connection, I'll admit. "Look Henry, I was just wondering if what you're doing has anything with you and your wife expecting a baby?" Jacobs visibly startled across the table from me, showing I had indeed struck a nerve. "A little worried about the money issues are we?"

"What would you know about that?" His tone was bitter, with a slight hint of anguish and self-loathing.

"My wife is seven months pregnant. As a matter of fact she really isn't feeling well today, and I want to be home with her in case she needs me. But I get it. How are we going to make it once the kid comes, with only one of us working full time? Because of our lifestyle and history, we don't even know a lot of people for us to have a baby shower." Jacobs perked up a little at that comment, letting me know that my tactics now were working. "How are we going to get the food, the diapers, the clothes; all the other things that kids need solely on my salary?" No need to say that Kens would be returning to NCIS just as soon as she was cleared. "And don't even get me started on college." Something flashed in Jacobs' eyes, but it was too quick for me to read it. "But you know what I would never do?" From the look on his face, he was getting closer to breaking, I could just feel it. He just needed a little more of a push. "I would never do anything to jeopardize me being able to see my kid growing up. What you're doing right now? The only way you are going to be able to see your wife and kid is through a plate glass window and talk to them over a phone. For at least the next twenty five years, Henry. Think about that. Do you want to see your child face to face, hug him or her for the first time when they have already grown up?"

Tears started to pool in the corners of Jacobs eyes. "Henry, you are going to do time, but how much time is up to you. Tell us where the device is at, tell us who contacted you from Pakistan, tell us something to help yourself. Admit you were wrong, and it will go easier on you. As a kid who grew up in a broken home, let me tell you, your kid needs you. You're trying to make things better for your kid, even if you went about doing things the wrong way." This got me a nod. I slid a notepad and a pen across the table to Jacobs. "Write down what we need to know. What you think we need to know. Every little bit helps. I'll leave you alone for a little bit, so you can get your thoughts together."

The reaction I received in the common area of the boathouse was interesting. Nell knew along I could do it; Sam was surprised but pleased that I had gotten through to Jacobs, and Callen just looked like he had swallowed a fly or something. There are definitely times that I know Callen still questions what I am doing on this team, and I know he still blames me, even if it is slowly fading away, for turning his family upside down. It didn't matter though, I have been underestimated since day one, and I should be used to it by now. Anyways there was joking congratulations intended to lighten the mood. Just then my phone rang with some of my favorite words I have in the world "I am TOO your type." Time had flown by without me noticing, Kens was probably calling me to let me know how her checkup had gone.

"Hey Kensilina, how are you feeling? How was your day? My day been pretty good so far, but I have missed my own personal OPs angel." I was rambling again, but the lingering worry at the back of my mind came back with full force.

"Deeks…Deeks, I need you." The utter terror in Kens' voice made my heart drop into my stomach. Not even the day when the Russians had stuck her in the room of laser trip bombs, had she sounded that frightened. "Deeks….. Dr. Herr is admitting me to the hospital. There is something wrong with me or the pregnancy, I'm not sure…. I'm not tracking what she said." I could hear the tears in her voice, if my heart was in my stomach before; it was on the floor now.

"What Hospital?" How I found the breath to speak I have no idea, as it felt like I hadn't breathed in forever. I have long been a master had showing the world only optimism, but I was failing because Sam, Nell and Callen had all stopped what they were doing and were staring at me.

"Pacific… Pacific Medical. Deeks, Dr. Herr said that we most likely will meet our child tonight. They might have to take the baby by C-Section." I could hear the sounds of a stretcher rolling across pavement in the background. What that did to me was indescribable. Nothing ever good comes from that sound. And Kensi sounded like she wasn't fighting going to the hospital, that she was actually sounded looking forward to it.

"I am on my way. I love you. I'll see you in a little bit. I love you." I was trying to put as much confidence into my voice as I could, but I knew it was falling flat.

"I love you too. I have to hang up now. I'll see you at the hospital." The silence on my phone was deafening, as reality sank into me.

All three of our friends were staring at me, waiting for me to speak. "Something's wrong with Kens and the baby. She is going to the hospital right now. And they said they might have to perform a C-Section tonight." I wasn't sure what was going on, so I just repeated what Kens had told me. Nell brought her fist to her mouth, Callen looked like he had been poleaxed, and Sam had the look of wanting to punch something, hard.

"Go." Sam spoke first. The concern in his voice was not something new. It had always been there for Kensi, but now it was for both his little sister and his little brother. "We'll take care of this. I'll go get Monty and take him home with me. Michelle and Rachel can watch him for you. You just get there and be there for Kensi" That was an offer I thought I never hear.

"I'll inform Granger." How Nell had moved to get close enough to give me hug, I had no idea. "Give that to Kens, and Shaggy if you need anything, give me call." Her eyes were wet as I hugged her back, and she handed me her keys. "Take my car. We'll get them switched around later."

"You need to get going Deeks." Callen's lingering resentment seemed to have disappeared. "Call us when you can."

"Thank you. Thank you guys." I broke away from Nell, and was out the door. I felt so helpless. More helpless and useless than I have in a long time. I numbly made my way to the Cadillac ATS sedan that NCIS had issued Nell.

*******NCIS LA*******

Outside of the Expeditions, none of the vehicles we used for work have lights. That can lead to some consequences when we're chasing some suspects and nobody can tell that we are federal agents. I usually deal with it, as I still have my liaising duties with the LAPD. I put those skills to good use. Bates picked up after the first ring, and had a black and white in front of me as soon as possible once I had explained myself. We may not have always seen eye to eye, but he was genuinely fond of me, and thought I was stupid for letting Kens keep me at arm's length for as long as I did. With a wish of good luck and a demand of a cigar because things would be alright, he hung up and I concentrated on getting to the Hospital.

I have never considered myself a man of faith, shooting your own father and everything that came from that doesn't lead one to have a lot confidence in a higher being's plans. My history prior to being brought into NCIS, and some of things that happened since really made me question the existence of a benevolent God. But over last year I have found myself praying more and more often. First was when I was captured by Sidirov, and it was to give me the strength to just see Kensi one more time. Next was she was sent over to Afghanistan and that she would come back to me safe and sound. Yes there were even times when I have prayed lately that Hetty Lange would get what was coming to her. And that one bothered me, I don't think asking for revenge is a good thing, but I couldn't help it. But now, I was offering up deals so that Kensi and our child would be good. Give up surfing? No problem. Shave my head and become a man of the cloth? Will do.

Beyond that I really don't remember much about the drive to Pacific Medical. I parked the ATS, and the uniformed officers in the black and white that had escorted me actually wished me well. That surprised me, but things had gotten better between me and the majority of the LAPD since I had helped to take down Quinn during the Fisk case. At least something good had come out of being forced to lie to Kensi. I sprinted towards the doors of the hospital, dodging cars, it wouldn't do Kens any good if I ended up in the hospital myself.

An older lady with the name badge of Jessica was behind the reception desk when I got there. I was sorely tempted to shove others out of way to get to the front of the line, but I just sucked it up. Finally after the amount of time that it seemed like I should be seeing my kid graduate from high school, it was my turn. "I need to know what room Kensi Deeks is in. That's K, E, N, S, I, D, E, E, K, S. I am her husband." I pulled out my NCIS badge as proof of my identity. Flashing a symbol of authority doesn't hurt either.

"I am sorry; we don't seem to have anyone here by that name." She looked apologetic, as she glanced up and saw my features.

"But she had a doctor's appointment, something is wrong, she was being brought here by ambulance, and she should be here. This is where she said she was coming. This is Pacific medical, right?" I ramble a lot when I am nervous. How in the hell was Kensi not here? Unless I was at the wrong hospital, it would just be my luck to go to the wrong hospital.

"O, hold on then. She just might not be in the system, yet. Do you know what her symptoms are? I call that particular department." Jessica was reaching for the phone as she kept her voice calm and soothing.

"All I know is she is just over seven months pregnant." There was no way I had beat Kensi to the hospital. Not only was Dr. Herr's office closer to the hospital than the boat house, she was going by ambulance all the way. The black and white hadn't met up with me until I was almost a third of the way here.

"Ok I give the High Risk Pregnancy floor a call right now." She gave me look that said I really need to calm down or else she would have me sedated by suppository. Which was rather rude when I thought about it, she should be used to panicking husbands and first time fathers. "Hi Diane, this is Jessica down at the main reception, I am looking for a Kensi Deeks, according to her husband, she should be getting admitted right now." She paused, obviously listening to Diane on the other side of the phone. "Ok then. I thought that might be the case." Hope flared in my chest. "I'll send right him right on up then." She hangs up the phone, as I was literally dancing in place waiting. "Your wife is in room 722, Mr. Deeks. And from the sound of it she is demanding you. Have you been here before?"

"Thank you so very much. Oh yes, I have been here before. And just call me Deeks. Mister sounds way too formal." I flashed what I am sure was my first smile since Kens' phone call.

"Well then Deeks, good luck and what are you waiting for?" Jessica made a shooing motion with her hands. I grinned again and strode off down the hall to the elevators. Passing by the gift shop, I had to swing in grab something. It might irk Kens, but this was a special occasion, she was carrying my child after all. I noticed the elevator music had not changed since the last time that I had been here, though for the life of me I couldn't remember what the case was.

The doors opened on the seventh floor in record time. Of course I went the wrong way at first and had to turn around to find room 722. As I approached the door, I could hear voices from the inside, Kens in particular. But it wasn't that Bad Ass Blye that I knew. I stopped outside the door, for once in my life I didn't know what to do when came to her. I had no idea what to say or do to make her feel better. Sucking in a deep breath, I steeled my emotions for the worse. There was no way I could show weakness at the moment; Kens could not be concerned about me when sounded like she needed every bit of strength.

All I knew was that standing outside her room was not helping anything, so I just decided to wing it. "Hey Fern, brought you some flowers." I stepped in the room to see Kens lying in bed with an IV stuck in her arm, and two nurses attaching various sensors to her extended stomach. What bothered me the most was how pale and frail my partner looked. For somebody who always projected a certain vibrancy about her, it was obvious that something was drastically wrong and I started kicking myself for not insisting that Kens see her doctor sooner.

"Roses? You brought me a dozen roses? I hate roses." Well, maybe she was feeling a little better if she was snarking at me.

The strawberry blonde nurse looked at me and then at Kensi. "Fern? I thought your name was Kensi? Sir you may have the wrong room." She looked back at me.

"Never mind him Sara. That idiot is my husband. Fern is a nickname that he..mmmmppphhh." Whatever else Kens was going to say was cut off as I managed to get close enough to her to reach down, cup her face with my hands and kissed her.

We broke off the kiss, and just rested our foreheads against each other's. "I love you. Feeling better yet?"

A slight grin was my reward, because I sure wasn't getting one for the roses. "Now that you're here I am. Ditto."

"Ahem." For a moment I had forgotten that there were nurses in the room with us. "We still need to finish setting up the fetal heart monitor Kensi and I am sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Just call me Deeks. Everybody else does." I stepped back to let the nurses get back to work. Once upon a time I would have flirted outrageously with the nurses in the room, even with Kens in the room, if for no other reason to see her get jealous. But that time had come and gone, when exactly, but I know it was before Janvier first showed up in our lives that I started feeling slightly dirty when having to use my charms on the ladies for a case.

"I am sorry. Sara, Janice this is my husband Marty Deeks. Deeks this is Sara and Janice. They're the second shift nurses for my room." Now my nerves really started going into overdrive. Kensi was being nice to the nurses and not demanding to be released. "Hey Shaggy it's going to be ok." Sometimes our ability to communicate without saying a word is a pain in the butt. Here I am supposed to be the supporting one, and Kens is can see I am about to go out of my mind.

A whoosh followed by a thump came across the speakers of the main monitor. "Got him. Your baby sure does move around a lot, there Kensi." Janice looked up from where she had placed the most recent sensor. "That kid is active. That's a really good sign. Unfortunately, it looks like you are going to have to be on your left side for a while. And you are really going to have to try and not move too much."

"Wait a minute, we're having a boy? And what is going on?" Once again I felt like I was trying to be the center of every conversation.

"I have preeclampsia Deeks." Those words didn't mean a thing to me. I had been studying up on things ever since Kens had managed to get my head screwed on straight about her and the baby, but I must have missed that section. "I have no idea what it means, either. But it's not good. And as far as I know we still don't know what we're having." I reached down and grabbed her hand, giving a squeeze to lend her my strength. Looking at Sara and Janice I waited for a more detailed explanation.

"Dr. Robertson will be in here soon to check up on Kensi, and to explain things like better than we can." She obviously saw something in me that led her to believe I wasn't going to just wait for the doctor to show up. "Basically Marty the pregnancy has become too much for Kensi's body to handle. The biggest risk right now is seizures which could lead to stroke and other major organ damage. Her IV is magnesium sulfate, which is the best thing for her right now. Now you need to keep her calm and quiet. If she gets sleepy, let her sleep. That mag stuff tends to make people very drowsy." Well at least that task I can handle. "Just press the call button if you need anything ok Kensi?" That got a subdued nod from Kens, she was putting on a strong front towards the nurses, but I could feel the tension in her hand and see the fear in her mismatched eyes.

Squeezing her hand again to lend her strength, I moved a chair so I could sit down closer to her. Again I didn't know what to say or do, so I just settled for holding Kens hand and using my thumb to rub the back of it soothingly.

"I am sorry." The words were soft, quiet and subdued.

"For what Princess?" I knew I had to keep her calm. But I also couldn't stand Kens not being, well not being Kensi. "Was it something you did that caused this?" She shrugged. "Then let's not worry about what happening right now, and concentrate on getting you and our little mutant ninja assassin better." Her mouth started to open and since I knew exactly what she was going to say, I put the finger of my free hand on her lips. "Shush, I forgive you." Last time I did this she darn near dislocated my shoulder and used my head to open the door to the Mission. I was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen again, but I was willing to take the chance. "Just rest. I am right here."

"I am feeling pretty sleepy. This stuff is amazing." Those eyes that have mesmerized me since the day I first met her as Tracy closed. "I love you Deeks."

I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. "Then sleep. I am not going anywhere." Kens breathing deepened and settled into steady rhythm and I knew she was asleep. For the first time this week she actually looked peaceful. How long I sat there simply holding Kens' hand until the doctor came in, I don't know, but it wasn't long enough. A knock on the door and Kensi started to stir.

"Hello Mrs. and Mr. Deeks, I'm Dr. Robertson and I will be your attending physician while you stay with us until the baby is born. How are you feeling right now Mrs. Deeks?" Dr. Roberston was young, almost too young in my opinion. If this kid had been out of medical school for more than two years I was a Roman Catholic monk. When it came to Kensi and our child's health I wanted as much experience as we could get.

"Sleepy. It's Kensi. He's Deeks." That cat nap seemed to have made her a little more like the Kensi I love.

"Well that's good. But we need to talk about we are going to do, ok?" Dr. Robertson has checking the monitors and making approving sounds. Maybe my fears of his youth might be unfounded. "Can you try and wake a little more Kensi?" At the bleary eyed glare he received, he simply nodded. This man was braver than I thought. "Well, Kensi you know you have preeclampsia, correct? What this means in a nutshell is that the pregnancy is having negative effects on multiple systems in your body. From what Dr. Herr sent with you, you have it pretty bad. You were very close to having the seizures. So no matter what you need to stay calm and quiet. The only treatment for ending preeclampsia is giving birth. But we can manage it somewhat to give the baby longer to develop. However you will be giving birth sometime in the next two weeks. One of things is you will be receiving a shot of betamethasone. It is a steroid to help kick start the baby's lungs. The lungs are one of the last things to develop. So as soon as I leave, either Sara or Janice will be back in here with the first of the shots. Any questions so far?" Neither of us had any yet, I know I was still trying to process what the doctor was saying. "We're going to take this one day at a time, but I am aiming to get you through all two weeks. But I need both of you do exactly as I say so that you end up healthy and have a healthy baby as well. Any questions?"

"How did this happen Doctor? Could stress have been a factor? Like Kensi worrying about me?" I stifled a yelp as Kensi pinched me, hard. "Again with the Pavlovian response Fern?"

"Well you are looking pretty scruffy there Shaggy." She was definitely feeling better as Kens rolled her eyes.

"There are many factors, which based on your wife's medical records I would have to say the most likely would be family history or an immunological response to you the father." I honestly have no idea what my face showed, caused I have no idea what I was thinking. "Stress very rarely is the cause, but more of a complication."

"Wait a minute what do you mean by immunological response to me?" So I was the cause of this, wonderful. Looked like this one was going to be our only kid, cause there was no way in hell was I going to be the cause of Kens suffering.

"Well, the more contact the mother has with the father's genetic material, the lower the chances of preeclampsia." Oh I was so tempted to say something, but Kens was already blushing and she didn't need to get worked up anymore. It was just our luck that Kens had caught the silver bullet on our wedding night, our first time making love. I refused to say I had sex with Kensi, that term didn't even begin to describe what we did to each other. "Well, I need to go out and make some other rounds. I'll be back to check on you later Kensi. Remember calm and quiet."

"What about visitors Doc? We have a lot, well family members that would like to stop in and say hi?" Julia and Nell would definitely be coming to see Kens, and Sam and Callen would probably threaten the staff with bodily harm and one way trips to Gitmo if anybody tried to stop them from seeing their little sister.

"No more than two at a time, plus you Mr. Deeks. Remember calm and quiet."

As soon as he left, Kens snorted. "Maybe I should have given into you sooner. You might just be right Deeks, practice does make perfect."

"Why do you say I am right when there is nobody else around to confirm it?" A raised eyebrow gave me my answer. "You know what don't answer that. Besides anyone who is half Princess and half jungle cat is going to be perfect." It felt good to be bantering and flirting a little bit like normal.

Just then Sara walked back in, with a needle. "Ok Kensi, this has to be a muscular shot. As close to the baby as possible, and I would suggest you hold onto something, because it hurts." I placed my hand in Kens and gave a comforting squeeze.

"JESUS H. CHRIST that hurts worse than getting shot." I was trying to keep from grimacing in agony as Kensi attempted to pulverize every bone in my hand by simply squeezing. "Damn that stuff is thick. It feels like a dwarf is dancing on my butt with spiked shoes." Obviously I needed to spend more time with her on her humor as opposed to teaching Kens the correct and proper usage of Touché.

"You were shot? But you don't have any bullet wounds." There was a quizzical look on Sara's face.

"Kens' job as an art curator has sent her overseas a couple of times. One time to Iraq and another to Afghanistan, both during the hostilities. Both times she got shot the vest stopped the round from penetrating but crack a couple of ribs." No need letting our security slip.

A monitor started beeping, and my throat began to tighten. I had let Kens get upset during the shot, and was already failing at fatherhood. "It's ok. When Kensi got the shot, she moved just enough that the sensors are having a hard time picking up the baby's heartbeat." Sara made a few adjustments on the monitor. "We'll let things settle down for a little bit. If we need to move the placement of the sensors we'll do it later. I'll be back in a little later."

"You are not a failure." Kens pointed to the chair I had sat in, before I got up and started pacing.

"What makes you say that? Maybe I just needed to get up and move around a little bit after sitting in that chair." Sometimes I wonder if hospitals and interrogation rooms share the same interior decorator. Chairs in both places are uncomfortable.

"Please, I can read you like a book. Besides our non-verbal has never sucked." Kens was pouting and I knew what she wanted, so I gave it to her, a simple kiss. "Hey, can you call my mom, and find out what time she is coming by? When she gets here you can run home, take care of Monty and get me some stuff since it sounds like I am going to be here for a while."

I grinned. "Don't need to worry about Monty. Sam volunteered Michelle and Rachel to watch him for us." The look of surprise on Kens' face was comical. Sam is not known for his fondness to Monty, or even dogs in general. "But yeah I'll go call. I need to let Nell and Sam know what's going on anyways." Nell would take care of Eric, and Sam would do the same for Callen. The next thought sobered me. "Do you think I should call Granger?" Our relationship with the Assistant Director slash Operations Manager was complex and confusing. It was obvious that Granger was concerned for Kensi's wellbeing more than what was the norm for a superior to a subordinate, but both Kens and I were still feeling more than a little betrayed by someone who was once in that position of authority that we trusted. As for me, I could never tell if Granger thought of me as someone who was dependable when push came to shove, or someone who would never be good enough for his daughter.

"Yes, if for no other reason than to tell him I taking maternity leave a lot earlier than expected." Sometimes it can be really hard to argue with the thinking part of the relationship.

"Probably wouldn't be a good idea to use my cell with all these monitors around. I'll need to go down to the lobby to make the calls." I don't like getting chewed out by anybody, especially when it for something I could have prevented.

"Just stay for until I fall back asleep." Kens was definitely fighting a losing battle against sleep.

"That was the plan. Not going anywhere." Yeah, sometimes it is hard to argue with Kens.

*******NCIS LA*******

The rest of the evening was fairly calm. I ran into my mother in law in the lobby and sent her right on up. I made the phone calls, grabbed something to eat, and searched in vain for a case of Twinkies. I would definitely be heading home to get my secret Make Kensi Happy stash. If I had only I had brought my truck or the SRX with me to the boathouse.

Kens was dozing off and on through her visitors. Julia had stayed for a little bit, but left when Nell and Eric showed up. Nell must have swung by the house because she had brought one of Kens' go bags. It was hard to think of another time that I have seen Eric that uncomfortable; being in a hospital room with a pregnant Kensi was not his preferred cup of tea. Velma must have dragged him along, most likely quite vehemently. Granger never showed up, but a teddy bear and flowers did arrive with a card signed by him. But the funniest was Sam and Callen getting kicked out of the room by Dr. Robertson for being too loud when Kens wanted another pillow, and the two of them took upon themselves to look for one in the drawers in the room. Both promised to be by later tomorrow, but not together after receiving the glare from Doc. It was Kensi worthy, I wondered if he had every considered a job in law enforcement, that look was definitely up to the job.

Finally our visitors had left, Kensi was sleeping, and I was trying to get comfortable in the hospital chair. The shrieking wail of the alarm reached out and slapped me awake from the fitful doze I was in. It was the type of alarm designed to hit you, sink into your bones and stay there until someone responded. I came out of the hard chair I was in, and immediately was reaching for the Sig at the small of my back, not truly realizing what was going on. Then I saw Kensi's face, the fear etched into every pore of that beautiful face as her hands moved on their own accord to protect abdomen. The alarm was the fetal heart monitor letting it be known it could no longer detect a heartbeat. My own heart dropped and my stomach twisted into a knot as the realization of what this meant hit me with the force of a two by four. Everything was going so good, and now this.

**Originally I had intended for this to be a One Shot, however my muse has decided otherwise. Thank You For Reading. Please Leave A Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N In response to all the PMs for the story behind Hope's Birth, you asked for it, you got it. Note there will be spoilers for **_**Poker Face Failure.**_** I can't write this without them. Thanks for reading and please leave a review.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing in the bank account, so I don't own anything from NCIS LA**

How anybody could think somebody could stay calm and quiet with that alarm screaming in the room, I have no idea. I was moving towards Kens, thanking God for our nonverbal communication, because I sure wasn't going to be able to say something, and be heard. Two nurses came flying into the room, just as the wail of the alarm shut off and the thump of the baby's heartbeat came back over the speakers, as if nothing had happened.

"Kens…. Sunshine…. Princess…. Fern look at me." Reaching down, I gently cupped her face and tilted her beautiful features up towards mine; projecting a calm I didn't feel. It almost felt like I was lying to Kens. "It is going to be ok." I looked at the two nurses silently begging them to agree with me. I honestly couldn't remember their names at the moment. I turned back to see those mismatched eyes clouded with doubt and fear. "It. Is. Going. To. Be. Ok. We're going to be good."

The black haired nurse looked at the screen on the monitor. "We're getting a lot of background noises. I think the baby or Kensi moved. Dr. Stevens the night shift doctor is on his way. He'll make the final decision, but seeing as the baby's heartbeat is still as strong as before the alarm went off, I think we're good." It suddenly struck me that her name was Heather and the other nurse was Stephanine. I gave a quick grin to Kens, hoping for at least a quick roll of the eyes about the fact I was right, but her eyes were still downcast.

Dr. Stevens was older, by a lot, than Dr. Robertson, and had a serious no nonsense attitude. I knew the moment I met him, I had to be on my best behavior. No jokes, no quips, no sarcasm; but that was alright because the man extruded a confidence that was sorely needed right now. He immediately looked at the monitors for the baby and then the ones for Kens. "Everything is looking good. Either the sensors malfunctioned, or someone moved just enough to for the sensor to lose the heartbeat. I'll be back through a little later." He wasn't rude or harsh, but just spoke what needed. I barely made it back into the chair before my legs gave out in relief, as he left.

Heather made some adjustments to the monitor. "If the baby or Kensi moves again the alarm shouldn't be as loud. I don't know why that thing was set that loud." She grinned apologetically. "Do you need anything Kensi before we leave?"

I doubt even Callen or Sam would be able to tell how much this had terrified Kensi. She just shook her head numbly. I had never seen her this way, and I was fighting desperately not to break down myself. I knew something that would help both of us, but with all the wires and sensors I wasn't sure how we could do it. "Hey Heather is there any way I could possibly lay beside her?" I was almost afraid to ask for worry of crushing what little hope I was able to give. Again I was starting play the Divine intervention version of Let's Make A Deal. I was praying there was some way I could just hold her and give Kens the comfort she desperately needed.

"I think we can work something out, don't you think Heather?" Stephanie could see what the idea was doing for Kens, and making sure Kensi stayed calm was the best thing for her. For once it felt like my prayers were being answered the way I had requested. They were always answered, just not in the way I wanted. After all I did survive Russian dentistry school and Kensi did come back from Afghanistan, just not safe and sound.

"Yeah we can do that. What side do you want to be on Kensi?" Heather was already starting to disconnect various leads so that she could move the monitor.

"I have to be on the right side of the bed." I snorted, even now with all that was going on, her stubbornness was showing through. The things I have sacrificed for this woman, but I would do everything in my power to make her happy and to keep her safe.

"Ok we can try to move onto your right side, but I have to tell you this might make the baby a little harder for the sensors to detect." Kens just nodded in agreement. I hated how quiet she was being. Right now I would take her up on her offer to eat bulgolgi for the rest of our lives, if it would just bring back a spark of the Kensi I fell in love with and married. It seemed like forever until I was finally able to climb into bed with my wife, until then I just held her hand, anxiously trying to give her some relief.

As I climbed into lay down beside her and gently wrap my arms around Kens, I felt some on the tension leave her body. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" I still can't fathom how she thinks she isn't good enough for me. "Thank you for asking if we could do this. It just felt so wrong being in here without you. Love you."

"Once again you have it wrong, Princess. It's me that doesn't deserve you." I placed a gentle kiss to her temple. "Where you go, I go. That's how we roll. Love you too." We didn't speak anymore just let our ability to communicate without a word convey the strength and solace each needed so desperately. Kens slowly drifted off to sleep as the magnesium started working its magic, now if only something could unplug the blender running through my head.

*******NCIS LA*******

I managed to doze off again, but then about an hour later the alarm went off again. Heather and Stephanie made a few adjustments and Dr. Stevens was not happy about me lying in bed with Kensi. It took some time for us to explain that this was actually helping keep her calm and quiet, it didn't help that entire time I was stammering like a teenager who just got caught by his girlfriend's father. A shudder passed through my body at the thought of what Donald Blye would have done to me if I sneaked into Kensi's bedroom if we had met when we were teens. I like to think that even then we would have realized we were soulmates.

About two hours later the alarm went off yet again, and this time I had to get out of bed because while the nurses could find the baby's heartbeat they couldn't lock it down. Kensi was going to have to move onto her left side. It still took almost another twenty minutes to get the baby's heartbeat dialed in. The nurses were definitely getting exasperated. "There is no way that this baby is a girl." Heather sounded like she was fuming. "No self-respecting girl would ever do this to her mother. It has to be a boy."

"That's because you don't know her mother." I couldn't help it. Maybe teasing Kens would help her feel a little bit better, and it would definitely help me. "She'll probably end up being the first female linebacker in the NFL, because her mother kicks that much ass." Bad Ass Blye could take down men twice her size, routinely beats me when we spar together, and if anyone questioned those facts, I had pictures on my phone of one Jack Simon after Kens had captured him not that long after she had escaped from the Taliban. All while being around three months pregnant.

"If you aren't careful Shaggy, I'll kick your ass right here, right now." That was the first true Kensi grin I had gotten in a while. Maybe we would get through this alright. Figure it out as we go along, we always do. I just needed to keep faith in myself, which based on my history was easier said than done.

"Well, all I can say is this kid likes to swim around. It's really difficult to keep the sensors in one spot." I could understand the irritation in Heather's voice.

I leaned down to Kensi's stomach. "Hey there Little Deeks, it's Daddy. I know you can't wait to go see the ocean with me, but you need to take it easy on Mommy ok? We need you to stay in there as long as possible, but we can only do that if you take it easy on Mommy. Plus you're scaring Daddy, and I can't fix this for you or Mommy." I stood up to see Kensi watching me with her heart in her eyes. "What?"

"You never get to question your ability to be a good father ever again, got it?" That was spoken which such conviction that I seriously doubted how I ever felt that I deserved such faith in me.

"Wow that did the trick. The little guy has stopped moving around. You have a way with kids there Deeks." Heather's amazement matched my own. "Maybe we need to hire you."

"That's because he is basically a kid. Filled with eternal optimism and wonder." Tears were in Kens eyes as she spoke. Again I wondered what I have done right in my life to deserve her. As I climbed back into bed with I couldn't help but wonder what I done that Kensi and our child had to go through this. Both of them were in trouble and I couldn't do more to help them. This had to be payment for my all the wrongs I have done. "Stop it." Even lying with her back against my chest Kens could read me like a book. "This is not your fault. You heard the doctor. If anything it's because I didn't give into you sooner, I got pregnant the night we got married, remember."

"Part of me knows that. Unfortunately the larger part of me keeps saying it is my fault."

"Well pull that part of your head out of your ass. I'm getting tired of beating it through your skull. You are not a monster. You are not your father. You are the best man I have ever known. And there is no one else who I can imagine to be going through the next fifty years of my life with." She snuggled back into me some more. "I love you. Now stop thinking and go to sleep."

"Yes ma'am. Whatever you say, Mrs. Deeks." This got me an elbow in the guts. There wasn't a lot of power behind it, but I could feel the love in the physical assault. "I love you, Fern."

*******NCIS LA*******

The beach was calm and serene. It felt almost like I had been here before. Nobody in sight that that I could see and I'm not prepared to go surfing, the feeling of déjà vu was immense. I just waited, I had pretty good idea what was going to happen, but I could never be too sure. Usually when I am at the beach and there is nobody around, Kensi and I are very naked and very busy.

"Hey Dad, how are you doing?" The voice came from behind as it did the last time. I knew instantly without turning that it belonged to a young brunette with blue eyes and wavy hair. "Told you would we would be meeting sooner than you think."

This time I know I didn't eat bad sushi or whatever it was the last time. "So apparently I need a little pep talk, and you're the one to give it to me."

She stepped around in front of me, with a grace so reminiscent of her mother. "Looks like it." Even her speech patterns were that of Kensi. "Remember what Uncle Sam and Aunt Michelle told you after NCIS offered you the new position? When you were wondering how you and Mom could make it work? Saving the world, looking good while doing it, and having a relationship outside of work?" I nodded. Sam and Michelle had done more in helping us get to where we are today than anything else we had tried. Both had to deal with the fact that their significant other put their lives on the line and had watched the other seduce suspects and targets before, yet they had one of the strongest marriages I have ever had the privilege of seeing. If it weren't for the two of them, I honestly don't know where Kens and I would be. Actually I would probably be inside a bottle or a long term undercover operation with no hope of coming back alive. "You just need to keep hope alive and keep the faith in one another."

"So my firstborn is going to be a girl. I knew I was right." I am a master of deflecting, apparently even in my dreams. Because there was no way I was having a conversation with someone who wasn't even born yet. "You know you still haven't told me your name?"

"Really Dad? We both know, however much you talk about it, you don't believe that metaphysical crap." If my dream was any indication, the rest of life was going to be very interesting with dealing with two Kensis. It certainly wasn't going to be boring. A grin started to break out on my face as I realized I was looking forward to meeting my daughter. "I am just a manifestation of your subconscious. There is no way you having a conversation with me while I am still in Mom."

"Pretty sure if you were manifestation of my subconscious you would be a lot taller, blonde, male and smell like cheap booze, there kiddo."

"Whatever Dad. Remember hope and faith. It's got you two this far after everything, right? It will get you through this as well." She stood up on her tip toes, and kissed me on my cheek. What sounded like sirens cut through the distance. "Sorry Dad, just feeling the need to start swimming again. I can't wait to meet you."

The alarm of the monitor brought me back to wakefulness. But all the little cat naps I had been receiving was just enough to make me feel loggier. Of course hospital beds aren't designed for two people, so I am sure that had a part in the way I was sleeping. All I could focus on was that I was never going to complain about a normal alarm clock ever again. Feeling every bit worn down and ragged as I had when Kensi was on her forced vacation, I started to get out of bed knowing that the nurses, and most likely the doctor as well would soon be entering.

The nurses that entered were completely new, and weren't all moving all that fast. I mean they were moving with a purpose, but it was like they were expecting this to happen. Based on how light it was outside the window, and that it appeared that the shift change had already occurred, it looked like it was around seven in the morning.

"Good morning." The blonde was especially chipper, and I just had to groan when I saw that her nametag read Wendy. I thought she looked familiar, hopefully she wasn't the same one who gave me her number for a case about three years ago. The only thing that could be worse if she was named Nichole or Monica. "How are we feeling Mrs. Deeks?"

Though it still made my heart flip sideways when I heard Kensi called by our last name, it all depended on her mood as how she received it. "He is Deeks, just call me Kensi." Kens slowly raised her head off the pillow to glare at Wendy. "I'm tired, sore and pregnant with preeclampsia. How do you think I'm feeling?" And there was my beautiful partner back in her full glory.

I leaned down to give Kens a kiss. "Easy tiger. You know, and I know but they don't know." Kens hated being in hospitals, and absolutely hated anything that might be seen as a weakness.

"Deeks, that doesn't even make sense, and I don't think it would even later in the day." I loved how her nose would scrunch up when she was thinking really hard. Whatever it was, she must have come to a conclusion pretty fast. "I still feel really twitchy, and I am really getting sore from laying on my left side." Wait a minute wasn't she shot in her left side in Afghanistan? Did the doctors all this time miss something that hadn't healed properly? "Deeks, calm down." I shot a look at Kensi, just have returned with one that said I do know what you are thinking. "I don't normally lay on my left side for hours on end. Normally I am a starfish, remember?" A slight twinkle was in her eyes, not as big as I had hoped for, but I would take it."

"Oh Mr. Deeks, the desk received a message from a Mr. Granger for you. He said to call the office when you got a chance, as long as that chance was before 9:30 am." Both Kensi and I groaned as both nurses worked diligently to take Kensi's vitals and get the fetal heart monitor readjusted. At least it wasn't an emergency; otherwise Sam or Callen would have come and dragged my butt down to the mission. "Doesn't your boss know what's going on?"

"Oh he knows all right. He just doesn't care." Kensi managed to punch me from an angle that I thought I was pretty safe to be in.

"He does too care." While Kens was still a little leery of our boss's ability to use us for their own personal agendas, whatever happened over there in Afghanistan had furthered their surrogate father daughter relationship. There are times I think Granger resents the fact I didn't ask his permission to marry Kensi. But seeing as it was a spur of the moment decision, and we just went and eloped, I didn't ask anybody's permission. "You have a lot of projects in the air at the moment, and he probably needs something from you."

"Oh what is it you do?" Wendy was trying to make small talk, as she and her partner worked.

"Deeks is a lawyer. I am an art curator." Whoever came up with the idea that Kens should be an art curator obviously didn't know the first thing about cover identities. Kensi should have been a self-defense instructor or something, she still couldn't tell a Monet from a Rembrandt.

"But you know he is going to want me down at the office." Sheesh, that was whiny even by my standards, as Kensi just shook her head. "What time is it?" I hadn't bothered to look at a clock and I had shut my phone off to keep from interfering with the monitors.

"You know you have a watch on, don't you genius?" Well, Kensi was definitely waking up, and feeling a little better than yesterday.

"Oh oops. Sleep deprivation." I glanced at my watch. "Cool it's only a quarter to eight. I got over an hour before I need to call him."

"Why must you always push things?" Nice to know that even after all this time, Kens still hadn't quite figured out all the things that make me tick.

"Kensilina, if I started being on time, Granger would wonder who I was and what happened. I've been doing this for so long, why change now?" I just gave that lopsided grin I knew Kensi loved so much.

"You got a point." Kensi gave a drawn smile back.

"Now see here light of my life that was the perfect time to use touché. Ahh the master still has much to teach you young grasshopper."

"Don't you have a phone call to make?" She sent me a scowl, but the twinkle in her eyes told me that all the good I had done by holding during the night wasn't going to waste.

"I was thinking of waiting until after we have breakfast together, and maybe this time I could steal your Jello." I wanted to bang my head on the wall as soon as the words left my mouth. Bringing up my previous injuries was a sure fire way to get Kensi worked up. "Sorry no brain to mouth filter."

"Obviously." Kens' response was droll.

"So what did you want for breakfast Kensi?" Wendy felt the tension between us and was attempting to diffuse it.

"Donuts. Twinkies. A gallon of Rocky Road." That didn't surprise me one bit. The only reason my more sassy than classy girl didn't ask for a beer, was she hadn't had one since the day she found out she was pregnant.

"Somehow Fern, I don't think those are options here." At Wendy's shake of her head, I leaned down to whisper in Kensi's ear. "But if you're really good today, if I have to go into the office I will bring you back a case of Twinkies."

Those eyes that I had drowned in lit up. "Then what in the hell are you waiting for? Go call your boss." Nice to know even now Kens was working on keeping our covers straight. She turned her head back to Wendy. "Unless my husband can go down to the kitchen and make me some chocolate chip pancakes?" Kensi sighed at the amused shake of Wendy's head. "What's on the menu?" This was going to be interesting; Kensi hated hospital food, except for Jello. Though it wouldn't be surprising to see her get a double order if possible, even with food she hates Kensi can't keep from shoveling it in her face.

Just as Kensi was placing her order, and yes it was a double size, Dr. Robertson walked in. "Twelve hours down, three hundred twenty four more to go. How are you feeling Kensi? I understand you had an active night." If I didn't know any better he was teasing. Kensi mind was in the gutter as she started to blush.

"Not as twitchy as yesterday, but still sore and my butt really, really hurts." I was honestly staring at my wife wondering who she was and what had happened to the real Kensi. She wasn't fighting the doctor, wasn't being surly, and was just scaring me. She looked up at me. "I am trying to follow his directions Shaggy. So we can have a healthy baby." So apparently Kensi could be surly with me, got it.

"Well, I got some bad news for you then, you going to be getting another shot of the betamethasone, in a few more hours." The grimace on her face was enough to make me nauseated in sympathy. "This is the last one I swear. If we can, and we are still aiming for another two weeks, keep you pregnant for another twenty four hours after this shot, the baby's lungs will be fully developed, and if the preeclampsia takes a turn for the worst it will be much easier on the baby."

"Any chance we can do it right now? While Deeks is still here?" Kensi was pleading and I hated it.

"Unfortunately no, it has to be twenty four hours between shots, or other complications can develop." Dr. Robertson looked over at me. "I heard all about your technique for calming your wife and child down. Interesting approach. Do you have to leave? By all indications Kensi here is much calmer when you're around."

"Um, yeah, maybe, I don't know. My boss wants me to call him, and … usually when he wants me to call him, I have to… have to go in." I was stammering, and I couldn't help it. "Uh, yeah about, last night, um yeah, we've had some… pretty crappy things… happen to us over the years… and just holding each other … has been a big thing in helping us deal with it. Nothing inappropriate happened, well I mean it did happen, she is pregnant after all, umm I am just going to shut up now."

Kensi just stared at me like she had never been around when I was this nervous, while Dr. Robertson looked like he was going burst from laughter. "Don't worry about it Kensi, Deeks. We're used to being flexible around here when it comes to making the mother comfortable."

"Could have fooled me from Dr. Stevens's reaction last night." We are both grown adults, why can't I sleep with my wife without getting embarrassed?

"Well he is old school. What matters is you kept Kensi calm and quiet." If only he knew that she was doing just as much for me, otherwise I would be curled up on the floor weeping by now. "Anyways, hopefully you can be back by four o'clock. Dr. VanderWoode from the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit or NICU as we call it around here will be meeting with you to discuss what will happen after you give birth Kensi."

"Then you better go call Granger right now Deeks, find out what going on and make sure you're back here by four o'clock." It was definitely a good detail that I had a thing for a bossy brunette. The look I was getting would have, and I have seen it do so to Sam and Callen, melted a weaker man.

"Don't look at me like that Princess. I have on good authority you actually like me." If anything the glare intensified. "Besides which you said I do. The moment those words left your lips told me you have a vested interest in keeping me safe and sound."

"That may be so Deeks, but we are in a hospital." I gulped at the indications her words implied. Mentally I tried to remember where her pistol was at. "It's nearby Shaggy." Damn our silent communication skills.

I quickly leaned down and kissed her. "I love you. And I am really glad you're feeling better." This little bit of banter had picked up my spirits and I left to go call Granger. I needed to do from the lobby on my cellphone, I could just imagine the look on Eric's face if I called the secure line to the OPs center from the nurse's station of the seventh floor Pacific Medical.

"Ditto. Don't forget your promise!"

*******NCIS LA*******

"Detective how nice of you to call in." Despite having resigned from the LAPD and joined NCIS as a private contractor just a little under four months ago, Granger still tended to call me Detective. Usually when he is annoyed at me, problem being is this time I wasn't going out of my way to annoy him, and thus I couldn't even enjoy it.

"Sorry Granger, I mean Assistant Director." I heard my boss suck air through clenched teeth. "Long night."

"How is Blye doing?" On the job Kensi had kept her last name mainly because everyone called me Deeks.

"About as good as can be expected." For some reason when Granger and I spoke to each other since Afghanistan, we tended to speak in fragments. "What's going on?"

"Jacobs is demanding to see you. He is offering to tell us where he has hid the device, but only to, and I quote 'the Hippie lawyer' unquote. I told him no." Well that was a switch; usually Granger is all mission first, agent second when it comes to these kind of things.

"What? Why?" I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.

"Because your head wouldn't be in it Deeks." Granger paused; apparently this next part was going to uncomfortable for him, like actually having to praise somebody. "Yes, I know you have proved that you are fully capable of handling yourself without Blye holding your hand, but you have never been in this situation before. Plus I don't need Jacobs getting worked over." He just had to bring up my past actions when Kens was in danger, didn't he. "If something changes on your end to the point I feel you can get your head in the game, we'll address the situation then. In the meantime, Beale and Jones are tracking Jacobs's movements before we apprehended him, Callen and Hanna are searching Jacobs's home, and Agents Fiddlestein and Libahii have taken Jacobs's wife into protective custody." Our team had yet to work with the team that partnered a guy from New York with the granddaughter of a Navajo Code Talker, and that made me uneasy about what felt like abandoning Sam and Callen.

"I understand." I didn't really want to leave Kensi, anyways, but I still felt guilty about being told to stay here.

I headed back upstairs to tell Kens what was going on. Being reminded yet again about the promise of a case of Twinkies, as well as being told I really needed to shower; I made it back down to the parking lot starting my daily routine of mainlining coffee. The magnesium was starting to take effect again, and Kens was drifting in and out of sleep. I had to remember to thank the team for getting the cars switched around for me. Kensi's SRX was parked nearby where I had left Nell's ATS. I idly wondered what the guys done with my Avalanche, and what little pranks Sam and Callen had come up with this time. Not that I would ever do anything similar back to Sam, at least when it came to cars. I learned that after Charlene was stolen. Whoever had brought the SRX, and I was guessing Nell because how far forward the seat was, had also stopped by the apartment and grabbed another one of my go-bags.

I made it home, fully expecting to get mauled by Monty, when I realized the apartment was empty. I forgot that Sam had come over and picked up Monty for me. Without Kens not here and even Monty gone, my mind flashed back to a night some seven months ago when Hetty had to me to button up. I had immediately come here, hoping to catch Kens before she left on her reassignment. But once I had got here I had realized that she wasn't even allowed to come home, that Hetty had packed her stuff up for her and had it waiting for Kensi at the mission. The moment was easily in the top three lowest points in my life over the last year. And now with an empty home, I had to fight to keep this moment from bringing me down as well.

I know that Hetty had claimed to not only be giving Kensi closure, but to help someone who she thought was a friend get running start from the wolves. Our former Operations Manager said she was played by Jack Simon into believing he was an innocent targeted by the CIA, unfortunately for Hetty, enough secret records of communications between the two of them had shown that Hetty did know that Jack Simon aka the White Ghost was actually aiding and abetting the Taliban by training them in small unit tactics courtesy of his time spent in the Marines. I still had yet to forgive Hetty for what she put Kensi through, not to mention me.

I had to clamp down of these thoughts running through my head fast. I couldn't let them bring me down into despair. I was going to be a father soon. And if Dr. Robertson was to be believed we would have a healthy baby at the end of it. Besides which Kens needed me to be strong and to get my butt back to the hospital with a case of Twinkies. I hopped in the shower, grabbed more than a few extra sets of clothes, Kensi's laptop after downloading a whole mess load of America's Top Model episodes, Titanic and a few other DVD's and made sure to raid the not so secret stash of sugar.

I was out the door and had loaded up the SRX, when I stopped and went back inside to the room we had slowly been turning into a nursery. Sea foam green colored the walls, while the loading of Noah's Ark formed the border at the top. I knew exactly what it was I was looking for. One was a tiny stuffed Bighorn Ram that Callen had handed to us; after a case took he and Sam to Montana join up with the Red Team once again. He said he didn't know why but it just fit in his mind that the stuffed animal belonged with the Baby Deeks, though there was something about the parents' hard heads mentioned. The other was a book that as soon as I saw it, I just had to buy it. It was one from my childhood, and is one of the very few good memories I have from that time period.

By the time I got back to the hospital, Kensi was out cold. I would just have to wait for her to wake up when she saw all the stuff I had brought. I started playing Plants vs. Zombies on my phone, to just give my mind ease. Guilt for what Kensi and the baby were going through, guilt for leaving Sam and Callen to finish the case alone just wouldn't stop eating at me. Kensi shifted in bed and I steeled myself for the alarm to go off, but some odd reason maybe our little girl decided to cooperate. Ever since the dream I had started seeing our child as a little girl. "Mmm. Deeks isn't she beautiful?" So apparently my wife was dreaming of a little girl as well. It was amazing that Kensi's words eased my mind on leaving Sam and Callen high and dry, now if only someone could do it with what I felt over Kensi being in the hospital.

*******NCIS LA*******

Kensi drifted in and out the rest of afternoon. I ran my phone down, and started screwing around on Kensi's laptop. I cracked open a Twinkie, and waved it under her nose when it came close to the time we would be meeting the doctor from the NICU. I so wanted to video record this, but I knew if Kensi was to ever find such a recording, my life would become very very painful. It was almost Monty like the way her nose stopped in one of those cute little piglet snore and starting sniffing. Those beautiful mismatched eyes blinked open and I got one of those smiles she solely reserves for me.

"Marry me?" It was hard to understand as said Twinkie has currently stuffed in its entirety into Kensi's mouth.

"I thought we already did get married." I was really trying hard not to smile at the sight and sounds coming from her.

"Oh my God Deeks you are truly my hero." Somehow I just knew that I would be in trouble as Twinkies were not approved hospital food, but I was willing to deal with the consequences if only it got Kens to smile more.

"Glad to see you're awake finally. We've got a few minutes before the doctor comes in, you want anything? I brought your laptop and some movies, and I downloaded America's Top Model and…."

"Deeks slow down. We really don't have time to watch Titanic, and I probably shouldn't be watching it all with the state my nerves are in." I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I know it's her favorite movie, but I also know how much see gets worked up over it and the memories it can occasionally bring back. "Deeks, it's the thought that counts. As long as I have you and Twinkies, I'm good."

A knock at the door silenced anything else I was going to say. The doctor who entered was blonde and was wearing glasses. She was looked fairly young as well. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Deeks, my name is Dr. VanderWoode, and I am one of the Neo-Natalogists here at Pacific Medical. We understand you will sometime in the next couple of weeks be joining us down in the NICU." She paused looking at us, taking in our body stances. These doctors would make excellent investigators at the way they read body language "Now let me assure you, that is standard operating procedure for any premature birth. One of us is in the delivery room at the time of the birth. As soon as the baby is born we take over and make sure he or she gets whatever they need immediately. Now depending on just how premature the baby is, will determine whether or not you will be able to hold them before we take them down to NICU. Let me see here." She glanced down at the clipboard in her hand. "It says you are at around thirty three weeks and have already had a shot of betamethasone." Kensi grimaced at that word. "That's good news." Dr. VanderWoode glanced at me. "Do either of you have any questions?"

"Do you have any idea how long our child will be in the NICU?" I don't know why I asked that, but I couldn't help it.

"Mr. Deeks, we have a saying down in NICU: 'We may not be to His level, but we're pretty darn close to touching His feet.' But that doesn't mean we're precognitive. Until we actually see your child, we won't know what needs to be done or how long he or she will be with us." Sympathy shown through her eyes, it was obvious she had dealt with nerve wracked parents before. "Chances are that your baby will need oxygen for the first few days. It all depends on how long you wife can stay pregnant without harming her or the baby. If we can set it up, maybe the two of you would like a tour of the facilities later." Kensi and I both nodded at that idea. "Now once your child is admitted to the NICU the only visitors allowed must be accompanied by a parent and only a total of three people at a time. Which means if both of you are down there, only one other guest is allowed." I could just see Sam and Callen doing rock paper scissors to see who would get to see the newest Deeks first. "Once your child is healthy enough we'll move them into another area where we can make sure no complications happen for a few days before we send them home. Because once they leave us, then they go to Pediatrics, and while that department is good, it is most definitely not as good as the Neo-Natal unit when it comes to preemies. So we tend to keep the babies around for a while. I would ready yourself for your baby to be here for a minimum of three weeks after he or she is born." Another looked moved between Kensi and me. "Any other questions? Good. I'll talk to Dr. Robertson about seeing if he thinks you're up to taking the tour Mrs. Deeks."

It was a good thing, because just then Janice knocked on the door and entered the room with a needle. I simply held out my hand for Kensi to take, hoping that I wouldn't need to handle a firearm or punch somebody sometime in the next year. The string of words out Kensi this time would have made a sailor blush or a Marine Drill Sergeant proud. She actually whimpered a little bit. "I think you need to name that shit betahurtsalot." Her humor still needed work.

Just as Janice was walking out the door, and I had started to unwrap another Twinkie, my phone went off. I just plugged it back in, after playing Plants vs. Zombies. I handed the snack to Kensi, before I went to grab my phone. It was Callen calling. "Go for the soon to be patriarch of the Deeks household." Kensi just rolled her eyes.

"Deeks you are now on security detail." Kensi tried to sit up as my body stiffened, the Twinkie forgotten.

"What happened?" Guilt that I had let Sam or Callen get hurt or even worse came flooding back.

"ISI agents hit Jacobs's house while Sam and I were searching it. We're all right. But on one of their phones was photos of Kensi being wheeled into the hospital. And also of you entering the hospital last night."

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank You For Reading. Please Leave A Review.**


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